A Country Farewell

Update: Once again, this is about three weeks old, but I am not going to edit it, so just transport yourself back in time….

These might just keep getting better and better, or worse and worse, depending on your perspective. Night two of limited sleep. Not sure what’s going on with me, I guess insomnia comes in cycles-I used to have problems sleeping in high school, college…. oh wait, maybe it’s just always been there. Actually when I got my tonsils taken out in college, that really helped. The doctor thought that my enormous tonsils were causing me to have sleep apnea.

Went to bed around 2 last night, woke up at 5:30 for no reason whatsoever, laid in bed and heard my neighbor’s alarm go off at 6:15am, god I hate that alarm. Fell back asleep at some point until 7:30. Pretty good night-I’d say in total a solid 4 and a half hours of interrupted sleep! I slept a lot in the days after my sinus surgery (more to come on that recovery process), but I did end up going out last weekend, so I feel somewhat to blame for my irregular sleep patterns.

However, I really had no choice but to go out.
 The Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation and Take Steps is losing a valuable team member and I had to attend her going-away party. Since we are losing her to Houston, Texas, where did we go of all places? Red Rock Saloon. Red Rock Saloon is a fairly new bar on Water Street in Milwaukee and Water Street's "attempt" at a country bar. I have not been on Water Street in quite some time because I don’t like the threat of rape from frat boys, annoying drunk girls, or the chance of getting shot by some white dude who thinks he’s gangsta. I don’t think I was mentally prepared for what was to come.

I walked up to the bar and gave my ID to the bouncer, who I probably babysat for (if I was allowed to be around young children-parents for some reason don’t’ like swearing). I’m not going to spend too much time talking about the bar, since the real point of the evening was to celebrate/mourn the loss of an AMAZING woman. However, something must be said. The “kids” that were in the bar looked like they were going to their high school prom and/or wanted to rape me. My friend and I walked through the bar looking for the group. I almost ran screaming out of the bar when we went to the back bar and saw people slow dancing to country music on the dance floor. Yep, worst country prom ever.

But I was there for my friend!! So I decided to suck it up. We ended up being in the “VIP” section, which is front-row seats to the mechanical bull. This brought back horrible memories of my time in Wausau (aka the sweaty armpit of the MidWest). Although my normal cynical self would say that these girls molesting the bull for attention was sad, I decided to put on my “happy face”! This was going well and I was having a great time with all my Team Challenge folks. Then I saw what, or I should say “who”, was behind the bar. The bartender forgot to put her pants on. Plain and simple, she was standing there in her underwear, cut up tank top and I’m guessing a water bra. I shouldn’t say she wasn’t wearing any pants. Technically, I guess you would call them “ass-less jeans”. Or maybe the technical term is Ass-less denim chaps? It was really just two strips of denim down the side of her legs and then full jeans from the knee down, which was sort of weird. Why bother wearing shin jeans? I don’t want to be the old grumpy woman, but I will be. I don’t care how young you are, or how skinny you are, put some damn pants on. You know what’s nice though? That they leave something to the imagination…

A graphical representation of the amazing bar scene that is Water Street.

One other thing I just had to mention was when we walked past the main bar, I think a sewage pipe had burst, or maybe it was the rugby team we walked by, but something smelled b-a-d. The “DJ” was playing “country” music, which somehow everyone knew all the words to yet I had never heard of any of the songs. I looked at who I thought were my friends with disbelief. “Oh I have a tractor and a white shirt on, I want my toes in the sand, my wife left me, my dog died, etc.” Seriously?

But then…all of a sudden….out of nowhere, the DJ redeemed himself! Last Resort by Papa Roach comes flooding through the speakers. I was shocked how country music and 90’s alternative lead to hard rock, although it is an older song, but I didn’t question this diamond in the rough that fate had given me. This was my “pump-up” song I used to listen to before soccer games in college. On repeat. It was on. All those people I had made fun of earlier for singing along…..I was them times 100. “Suffocation!! No breathing!!! This is my last resort!!” I was a hypocritical head-banging obnoxious mess.

Red Rock Saloon didn't know what hit them. There was also a lot more jumping and lip-synching.

The song was over and it was like a dream. Did it really happen? I take back everything negative I said about this bar. It’s awesome-I'm getting on the bull!! Okay, maybe not that far…

On a final note, we stopped by coyote ugly to hear if it was as bad as I heard. It was. The story I heard about coyote ugly is that a beer is about twice what it would be at any other bar, the girls are...um, you know, from here, and my friend said he stopped in the bar, paid a ridiculous amount for a drink and then the bartenders were yelling at him from a bullhorn. Funny part was, he looked around, and there were only about 3 people in the bar. I would say this bar is exactly like what you would expect if Coyote Ugly came to Wisconsin. My prediction is this won’t last through next winter.

But on to better and brighter topics! Bottom line, it was great to spend time with the amazing people that are Team Challenge and I had a great time despite the lack of clothing and country music, that's how great these people are! And I am losing not only my Take Steps coordinator, but a good friend.

Shameless Plug: Where will you be on June 5th? Walking with me Take Steps at Miller Park, that's right!!!

Oh the times in Vegas, chillin’ in your hotel room when my plane finally got in at midnight. You watching me puke with joy….It has been great having you part of the team, I hope you continue to support Crohn’s and Colitis and make it back to Wisco whenever you can. Or perhaps I will have to meander on down to good ol’ Texas and see what I’m guessing a real country bar is like. You will be missed...and, of course, I will wear my Take Steps tattoo in your honor this year.

In true word bubble fashion.